The Gazongas Gazette
Warning: This edition of The Gazongas Gazette contains NSFW videos, so peruse wisely.
Summer is over, and we are heading into the hard facts of autumn. What better way to soften the blow of the new, but thankfully chillier, season? Thankfully, we have Linsey Dawn McKenzie to help cushion the transition.
Before there was Angela White, there was Linsey Dawn McKenzie. A woman who brought new meaning to the term "fully loaded".
Holy wobbly milk tanks, Bat-Man!
Linsey is a stacked legend known both for her size, her thirst for the gaze, and her iconic output. A UK model, At 18 she was already at staggering 34GG, and on her 5'2 frame, it was safe to say once she turned 18 and became legal in America, those nukes exploded into the mainstream.
Like many people my first exposure to LDM was on Howard Stern. A pivotal moment in me realizing that I should have been born in the UK.
But it's not just the sheer size of those warheads that made Linsey pop. It was her exhibitionist streak being as wide as the Autobahn that really sealed the deal. A frequent and infamous streaker it wasn't an unfamiliar sight to see Linsey stroll across a soccer field either buck naked or topless, those utter honkers swaying and bouncing. Sweet merciful groping Jesus I can't imagine what that sight must have been like.
It had to be akin to seeing Sasquatch. A sighting that would brand itself into your memory forever and if not for the frequent photographic evidence people would hardly believe what they were seeing.
If they did this for baseball it would be back to being the national pastime within days.
I love how it's in slow-mo, like it's a dream. No one can believe it's really happening.
Here's the stacked legend talking about her massive warheads. All I can say is while this set gives me a migraine, I have to admire how intimate the conversation is. With all the loud music and wild camera angles at the beginning I was afraid I'd be in for a trip through 00's shaky-cam hell. Thankfully it settles down and lets Linsey talk.
The most fascinating thing about this interview is her desire to go mainstream and break into Hollywood. Imagine Linsey in a 90s action film directed by John Woo or starring alongside Cynthia Rothrock? To say nothing of her 'seduction' method. ARGH, denied the McKenzie pairing with Lars Von Triers! Something tells me Nymphomaniac would have hit much different with Linsey in the role.
For a short while the UK had a show called "Brainiac: Science Abuse" a kind of 'Myth Busters'. (Sort of a letdown as the title makes you think it's going to be something darkly kinky.) Only unlike Jaime and Adam the UK version brought on smoke shows like Linsey.
The experiment is literally "Who has the largest lungs?" American exceptionalism, my ass.
Linsey burst onto the scene and for a time was everywhere. Before there were AI-generated pop-up ads, you had pop-up ads of Linsey and Gianna Michaels wobbling their norks at you in the bottom corner of your screen. Granted, there are worse ways to be bothered.
From Howard Stern to Score magazine, Linsey was a model that couldn't be missed. Otherwise known as "the best kind".
Like many models Linsey found freedom in taking control by starting her own site. Here you can see that her exhibitionist streak is alive and well as she allows civilians to snap pictures of her during a shoot.
Bath time with Linsey could get messy.
A perfect example of the difference between doing a shoot for someone else and doing her own. Notice the comfort level in her own work versus here. But the biggest crime is knowing that Linsey would have demanded video of her on that treadmill. Whereas PinupFiles merely did photos. Talk about a segment they could have done for 'Brainiac: Scientific Abuse'!
There is a difference between racked and loaded babes who love to show off and those who just view their God-given hooters as a way to make a few bucks. The difference is all the difference in the world. There's a dedication and joy to their work that leaps off the page or the screen.
Like a lot of models of that era, Linsey also danced. And if the video below is any indication, seeing Linsey dance was a life-changing experience. We lost something when porn stars stopped stripping. There's something extra about a stacked beauty who knows how to move her body and relishes being filmed doing what the British called "the rumpy pumpy".
wolffpackk
Nobody puts baby in the corner.
Unfortunately, Linsey's hardcore career wasn't as prolific as others. She mainly shot with her boyfriend, otherwise known as the luckiest bastard since Carl Dean. Crazier still is that she shot so few scenes of her overripe mammoth melons being properly railed. Something that almost every big bust model who did hardcore has plenty of footage of.
But this doesn't dilute her appeal; rather, than shine a light on her particular form of exhibitionism. For her, the drive comes from being looked at, desired, and being the center of attention. The actual act of sex, while something she enjoys, is something she'd prefer to keep it in the imagination.
I'm not sure I believe in heaven, but if it exists, it has to be nestled between two ginormous jugs.
But the lack of prolific hardcore material only means that what there is of it to be viewed is choice. There's an abandon to the way Linsey gives herself over in these scenes in a way that other stars of that time only played at. Much like her photos, there's a sense of unbridled freedom in her sexual expression.
This clip reminds us why they're called heavy hangers.